tomorrow will be one month since the death of  Paul...

 it has been rough, but i know you were always there when i needed you

12.2.86-12.24.05  

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

this morning, as i walked into work i received a phone call.

  when i was 13, i dated a boy named Paul. We dated for 3 years, ending when i was 16.  He moved down to FL to live with his mother after that.  We were very close..

    so his mother calls me this morning.. at about 6:50ish as i'm arriving at the gate of work. and says this:

“i know you and pauly were close, so you're the first person i'm calling this morning. he loved you. you know, even when he moved down here, he never got over you.  pauly was in an accident last night. his truck hit another car, and his truck caught on fire. pauly died last night.”

12.2.86-12.24.05

he just turned 19 two weeks ago. and in two weeks, he was supposed to leave for Navy bootcamp.

i've had to ruin all of his friends' christmas and tell them the bad news.

he was supposed to be up here for christmas, but his step dad wouldn't let him buy the plane tickets. he would have arrived yesterday morning. instead.. he went drunk driving.

i'm sorry i ever let you leave